My Dear
Poetry
My dear, clear those intrusive thoughts from your head
Turn off the lights and tuck yourself in that warm bed
Wrap that fluffy blanket tightly around you and cuddle that stuffed animal that you thought you out grew
The only thing that provides comfort when you have a rough night
When your chest is collapsing; the intense feeling that it will burst right open at any given second
Succumbing to the deep pain you feel inside, not even crying can break the tide of overwhelming emotions
Scared to close your eyes because the intrusive thoughts can disguise themselves as dreams
when in reality they are nightmares that you can’t escape; during pitch black skies or the first break of light
They appear as if to spite the rare possibility of a sleep filled night
Sometimes they wake you in the middle of the night with such fright
Sitting in your bed as you fight to breathe and gain consciousness, awakening from a slumber
The intrusive thoughts outnumber the rational ones, and you have no guns left to fight this war
If only someone could see the gore these obsessions create in the mind
Deflating the energy you have to rid your brain of them and finally get a decent sleep.
Burying yourself deep under the covers in hopes to discover a solution to the thoughts that reappear
The blanket hovers over you to resemble a wall 10ft tall guarding you while you finally drift off to sleep
One where you dream so sound and nothing makes you stir
It’s an escape from reality; you don’t feel like you’re about to drown in the repetition
Rare moments where emotions and pain don’t take over and degrade your mental health
and OCD doesn’t make you feel like you’re drowning within yourself
Unfortunately though, this is the definition of my life
Oh how nice it must feel to live without the feeling of constant suffocation
and having people in your life that you can turn to
I wish I didn’t feel as hopeless and lonely as I do
My stomach churns from the extreme anxiety and the sleep depravity
as I yearn an escape from the deep pain I feel inside every inch of me
Eyes filled to the brim with tears, unable to see at 4 am
My dear, I know today was a long, emotional day and life has a lot of twists and bends,
but please even when it gets hard push through and experience it until the very end.
I promise that no matter how much pain it puts you through, you’ll be glad when you do
You will be a survivor
You will be the saviour of your soul
Even though you’re going through so much sorrow now, you will eventually feel whole
Part 2: “Again My Dear”
